Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in alysia_sevens' LiveJournal:

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006
1:08 am	my vow of eternal celibacy... SO i met this guy at my church youth group on the wednesday that just passed. He was really nice and seemed really sincere. I was like, wow maybe my life is turning around in the guy department. Maybe I've finally met a decent christian guy and not some creepy 36 year old (another story) who just likes my breats. So, i was pretty giddy all week. Anyways, so I overheard a conversation tonight with a girl. SHe said how this guy (his name is matt) was hooking up with another girl named Steph. Yeehaw. I wanted to see it for myself so i could get over him faster. SO i went to the party he was at. Not to stalk him, i'm not a stalker... i know other ppl who were at the party and they had asked me to go earlier. So he kept looking at me but couldn't place me. Then he went over to the girl named Steph and they started talking while playing on a computer. Our eyes met and he said hi and asked me how I was. He quite drunk i believe... which means two things. A) that my good ol' christian boy is a drunk B) definite hypocrit for acting all churchy but drinking. Plus this girl Steph is a total skank in rez... i don't know for sure if they're hooking up, but that also tells me two things A) that he likes skanks B) that he won't like me, which is a compliment because it means i'm not a skank.... (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
9:53 pm	... i really just wanna smile... but something is holding me back... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 10th, 2006
7:56 pm	3 words... friends with benefits.... i was offered this ... this weekend by a friend of mine... who is friends of the guy i was being set up with at the radio station. they work together at the radio station. what to do...??? (Comment on this)
Friday, September 8th, 2006
6:49 pm	had a bad week... so i had decided that i was going to start fresh and be happy in my current life situation... and i was fine... until i started school... then i started having feelings i couldn't control. i am having feelings of frustration of other feelings i can't control... i am sooo frustrated that i can't graduate with my class anymore and i can't be a nurse in two years. i am angry at myself for getting sick last semester and not being able to finish my clinical credit. that i was so physically sick that i couldn't take care of the sick ppl... how bad i felt when i physically couldn't work on the hospital floor... being in and out of the hospital was sooo frustrating...i am sad because i get to be in classes with my nursing ladies but feel left out. and i know i shouldn't feel left-out because they still love me... but it still hurts. and i don't know how to feel better about. and its affecting other things in my life... it makes me super sensitive to other things.... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 25th, 2006
4:04 pm	if it makes me happy... is it really that bad? so if something makes me happy... is it really that bad? even if its not what ppl think i should be happy about? ok... i'll explain myself... its about relationships... and how i actually enjoy my lack of relationship. i was supposed to work things out with my exboyfriend when i got home and i was set up with a guy who worked at a local radio station. BUT... neither really worked out, and i'm happy. maybe its because i'm selfish... i am a very independent person... and i love my alone time. if i feel like staying home on a weekend and do nothing or stay in my pjs... i will do it. i don't need a guy or a friend of mine to give me worth. i am comfortable that i can stay home and not think that my life is over. which is where me and my best friend differ... she dated this guy for 2 yrs, and they were engaged for about 7 months of it... and now they broke up about a month or so ago. and shes already dated one guy and now she's seeing the guy that iw as being set up with. she says that i should get out there and find a guy. but i'm like... i'm NOT gonna go searching for a guy. that's so not me... i am used to having guys come to me. and as much of a snob as that makes me sound like.. that's just how i've always been. so here's my rant for the day... so last night our girls and a couple of my guy friends had a girls' night. started out fine.. we went for dinner and such. then we went back to my friend gryska's house for drinks before the bar. i wasn't in the mood to drink, so i babysat. which is fine with me... i love my friends and would hate for them to get hurt or in trouble. so we were talking about sex... and my best friend was asking everyone how many ppl we've slept with. and we were all answering.. it came to me, and i'm like.. well i've had one but i don't really count it. and my good friend gryska was like, yah i heard about that at the hospital in the changingroom!i was floored... considering the guy flipped when i told him that i told my best friend. needless to say, i am not impressed with him. i couldn't believe my ex boyfriend would tell ppl at work about us. and i was freaked out... because my dad is a big honcho at the hospital in my town. he's on the board of directors and knows a lot of ppl. so i was so worried that he would have found out! needless to say... i no longer like resident doctors! they can all go to a special place... and not special as in shadow lake centre. i couldn't believe that of all ppl, a resident doctor, a doctor to be would break confidentiality. i'm done my rant... so i've also decided that i'm too good for that i was being set up with. i saw him drunk last night... not something i'd wanna date or see a lot of times... lol so i'm really happy with myself... when i got home, i weighed myself and i had lost 20 pounds this summer. which is super cool... considering the schoolyear i had. because not many ppl know.. but i was really sick this schoolyear. it cost me a couple of credits and i gained about 30 pounds. and a lot of stuff happened in my personal life too. but most of those things are all settled so i can concentrate on me. i can have alysia/sevens time and care about myself rather than the rest of the world.... and feel better about myself :) anyways... oprah is on :P hope my shadow lakers are having a good week !!! :) (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 24th, 2006
12:58 pm	life after 4pm saturday august 19th..... well... life after 4pm on saturday started out quite normal... mostly like i had anticipated it would... here's a little jog of te night which turned sour.. and i can't remember most of it... i wasn't the best alysia ever that night... prolly one of my low points... but my friends still love me still (besides anisa, im' sorry)note: i am not usually a big drinker at all... i hadn't drank in a long time, because i don't like drinking that much. so jess, please don't hate me... so me, andy, robin and carolyn all went to the grocery store to pick up the groceries and get some alcohol. the story thus far is pretty normal. we go back to the campsite and me and and andy set up the groceries and we start to drink. a bunch of us start to drink. i may have forgotten to eat supper which did not help anything. i had a really rough summer workwise. i felt really criticised all the time and besides my off time everyday... i didn't have a lot of fun. i did love spending time with the guests, which i did everytime i could. i haven't really shared much about my summer trials with many ppl ... so don't be shocked if you're reading this. so i started drinking... and before i knew it... i was quite drunk. and i'm not quite sure if other ppl were. i stopped drinking around 8pm, which was good for me. by the end of my binge, i had almost finished a 26er of vodka with mix. i'm not sure how i finished it, because i don't remember pouring more than about 3 drinks. anyways, so other ppl are getting drunk too... which i remember. my memory wasn't totally failing me at this point. so i ended up on the ground somehow ... don't ask me how. because i couldn't tell you. that's when my memory gets blurry. note to self, don't sit down when you're incredibly intoxicated. from what i hear at this pt... anisa took care of me most of the rest of the time i was on the ground. and i love her dearly for it. then apparently i started asking for andy... which sounds super suspicious right?... oh my gosh, the guy that i was apparently in love with all summer, i was asking for him when i was drunk? let me qualify these events... i trust andy and hes on my short list of good friends at camp. and besides anisa, i knew i could trust andy to take care of me. even though he'd tease me the next morning (which he did) i knew he wouldn't judge me, or so i thought he wouldn't. so i guess around 10pm or so... him, anisa and elsa (so i hear) put me to bed. and i do thank them for that. i heard it was funny getting my contacts out... but i thank them dearly.. the next morning was rough... i woke up at like 1:45am, fell out of my tent and nee took me to the bathroom... i love her dearly. then i woke up at 6:45 and went to the bathroom with milky. she stayed up... but i was quite dizzy and couldn't stand up yet. i finally got up at 8am i think... we all went for breaky. i couldn't eat, i was sooo nauseous. so we got back to camp at like 11am. and my ride was already there, and i thought we weren't leaving until 2-4pm. so needless to say... i wore the same clothes two days in a row. which i've never done before and never plan on doing again. the ride home was long... but it was nice... traveling up north and seeing the difference in the scenary and we went up north :) i love being at home and missed timmins royally... life after camp.... interesting to say the least... thought i had left the drama when i left camp... apparently now. and ya never know you're friends are gonna do either. so i was being set up with this guy... who works at a radio station here in town... yes we have more than one... we have three actually!!! no small town jokes for me and my timmins!!! so anyhoot i met him through my best friend and his best friends. amber is my best friend.... the guy i was meeting is named jay and his best friend is name JC... anways so the four of us went out for coffee on monday night. things were fine, can't really make a connection in one night or so i thought. background information... JC is in love with amber. but jay asked amber out and she said yes. even though she knew i was kinda interested. so needless to say there will be drama when JC finds out... because he really likes amber anyhoot... that's enough for now... i love everyone at shadow lake! it was a screwed up summer but it was fun! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 17th, 2006
9:57 pm	my birthday well i am now 22 years old... and it feel GREAT!!! i am so glad to be a year older. i am so glad to be able to move on tomorrow and say i'm 22 years old!! and camp will be done in two more sleeps... so my birthday comprised of a bunch of cool events... ... i fell asleep crying last night. because i'm a little selfish. girls were planning on celebrating a girl's bday today.. and her bday is on 22nd. like why couldn't they celebrate tomorrow instead of my bday? i know that's bad to say... but i was hurt. because one of my good friends was part of it... and she was mean about it when i talked to her about it. but life went on... and nothing bad happened. i just don't like some ppl... and that's hard for me to say because i usually like everyone so i found out who my secret birthday friends were...which is oober sweet! they gave me presents for 7 days... and on my bday they gave me this really nice frame with our pic in it. from when we were in t.o. and went into a photo booth. those pics were in my purse... and they went in my purse.. butit was all worth it ... i'll miss both skeggers and anisa dearly. they are awesome ppl and i love them dearly. and i went out for supper with some of my good friends... we had a blast. i feel bad because i read later that sarah was having a bad day. and i feel bad because i didn't know. buti hope everyone else had fun. :) we had laughs, random pics and a film called the shopping cart. much fun was had by all.. and we tipped the waitress... for making us an appetizer bill.. shes the greatest. and i won a mug for my bday at east side marios... that was cool...i spun the wheel and won!!! last year i had to get a pie in the face so that wasn't cool.. so i picked someone else to get it. anyways... i'd better go, have a fun week all!!! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 26th, 2006
4:03 pm	emotionalism part #2 well... life has been interesting today... life has been all over the place... but i think its starting to normalize... so things with the jerky friend in question are definetely better. we are back to normal, more than normal i think. he's been really suggestive lately and touchy more so that usual. i think he's finally realising how he feels and showing me accordingly... hahahaha what i just said, i'm not sure what it means, but it makes sense to me :) so while things were chaotic i had the chance to spend time with skeggers. and i can't believe what i've been missing. things have been with amazing and i love her to pieces. in three and a half weeks i won't have anymore skeggs and sevens times at camp. and i wanna cry. i keep reading her blog over and over again... thinking maybe it won't make me cry this time. i'm such a nerd.. lol but i still love myself. but i'm excited to go back home... as much as i love camp, i love home even more. i miss my parents dearly and would do anything to spend a day with them. specifically my birthday that is coming up. because i think it'll be hard to be away from home for my bday again. partly because i can't celebrate it... because i'll be working. last year i went for dinner the day after my bday and was able to have a pretty good bday. this year i'll be in the dungeon all day, hoping someone will remember my bday. but who knows if anyone will. :( work is going ok... besides one of the senior staff thinking i'm an idiot. i know i'm not an idiot, but sometimes i do wonder whether or not i get too cocky in my abilities. because yah, i don't know how to do every skill, but that's what being a student nurse is right? but this person doesn't think so.. and served to extremely embarrass me this morning. only i could cry by 8am... anyways, better get back to work. to give meds and to plan a surprise for the couselors and program staff. it'll be fun :) *wink* and tonight i'm having bonding time... which was canncelled alst night, but is gonna happen today, or it'd better happen tonight !! *or else someone will die* *****shakes fist***** KeepSmiling, ALYSIA (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 20th, 2006
3:44 pm	life...time will heal all wounds i hate the emotionalism of camp... the fact that 11 weeks of my life consists of being on a camp property where i can't avoid the conflict, rumors and catty girls who work at the camp. i can't leave on my days off and hope the rumors will subside by the time i get home. i can't drive 45 minutes to sleep in my own bed. i can't use my cellphone without longdistance charges to hear my best friends voice and to tell me that everything will work out ok. and i hate camp for that fact. i absolutely love my job. from 7am til 10pm i can totally ignore the outside world... being outside my healthcare trailer. i can take care of the guests and hang out with my coworkers. every so often my friends who are counselors and other senior staff will come in and i'll be happy to see them of course. if it weren't for the guests and some amazing friends at camp, i think i'd go crazy. i'll prolly look back at this journal and cringe at how negative i am. i just am sad and hurt and incredibly frustrated right now. i don't like conflict.. especially conflict that i can't resolve. i don't like when ppl don't like me for any reason at all. i don't like when ppl talk smack about me for no reason.. and talk smack about me to my friends. when everyone else knows someone doesn't like me, except for me... cause apparently i've been oblivious to this for a long time. and i feel stupid. how could i not see the signs? how could i not realise that what iwas doing was causing conflict. i just wanna give up... on these two friendships. although one of them is really important to me. but i'm not gonna compete for it. i'm not the type of person who will fight who something if i don't think it's worth it. and i'm not sure i'd win if i actually decided to fight for these friendships. and that's what makes me super sad. like have i been that oblivious to the fact that these two supposed friendships have been bullshit this entire time and i couldn't see how stupid i've been? but on that incredibly depressing and negative note... i'm supposed to talk to one of the members on saturday night. and hopefully it works out. i'm really rooting for one of the friendships. the other one, i'm pretty sure its been fake the entire time, so i'm prettty sure its a lose cause. and i think i'm ok with that. because not everyone is gonna like me. and i've gotta come to terms with that fact. because i don't wanna sound snobby, but i haven't had many people who i haven't gotten along with. anyways... hope for the best for me :) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
12:56 pm	frustration... The number one petpeeve in my life currently in my friendship situation. I can't handle being used, abused and tossed at the wasteside. It really bothers me and I can't handle not having true friends. I think I may have mis-judged a true friend for a fake friend who only used me for what i could give him. which really hurts me. Because i trust ppl super easily. Aside from that one or a couple friend i still have amazing friends and am thankful for them everday : Trying to KEEPSMILING :) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
9:21 pm	camp... summer 2006 well... i've been at camp for 6 weeks now... and i don't regret coming back. at first i didn't really wanna go back. i had cold feet about a week before i left. i just didn't wanna tell anyone. i was scared to miss my friends and family. i wasn't sure i could handle being away from them for 11 weeks. but i've been doing pretty good... here's the last 6 weeks in a couple of paragraphs... senior staff training week... was great...it was great to see everyone again and it was great to meet new ppl. i am sooo happy to have met katie. she's my coworker in healthcare and shes the funnest person ever! and it was sooo great to see skeggers... she's a wonderful person and i cherish our friendship. it was nice to see robin because she is so freakin' awesome and weird. cas is a given... i love my northern friend to pieces. staff training week... got my first crack at being a supervisor. it wasn't all that bad. the monday of training week was rough and i wasn't sure i was meant for the job. but things have changed since then. as well... i got to see friends from last summer. mostly milkintas which was nice. kathryn came in session #2 which was freakin' awesome and i am sooo glad that she's back. i also met andy... he's one of my best camp friends ever. never as good as skeggers but we've had some goodtimes together. we clicked from the first time we met. we talked about his package in the first half hour i knew him.... the first 4 sessions of camp... have been interesting to say the least. i've spent time with some of my favourite guests. ok, so i may have a lot of favourite guests, but that's why i'm here.. for the guests!! not for anyone else. also we lost monique as healthcare. no offence but i wasn't sad to see her go as senior staff. i liked her as a person, but she wasn't meant for healthcare. and i think she realised that. good ol' camp rumors... apparently me and andy are dating. we're just close friends. i'm not even sure i would date him if i had the chance.. but who knows. i don't think i'll have to make the decision ever... well not this summer anyways. we'll see what happens in the fall. see how much he misses me... teehee just joking. i don't wanna start another camp rumor after someone reads this. one thing that sucks about camp this summer is the fact that i don't get much skeggers time... and i feel really bad. i didn't realise she was so upset about until i heard it from katie and i just read skeggers live journal. i feel like shit knowing she missed spending time with me.. i guess i was kinda selfish and spent too much time with andy. and i realise i wasn't a great friend.. and i don't know how to make it up to her. :( i feel really bad.. so if u read this skeggers, i love you! and i hope you still love me!! anyhoot i'd better go... camp is great... drama filled of course. and i miss home too. called my mom today, kinda wish i was home. the doc can go to hell... KeepSmiling :) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 2nd, 2006
1:40 pm	SLC 2006 its been a long time since i've written in my life journal. and honestly... all i can think about lately is camp. i will be leaving for another summer in 2 days... in 42 hours i will be on the road traveling to north bay to pick up cas!! i can't wait to see that crazy-ass girl. she rocks my socks and i can't wait to see her after almost a year without her. she brings out my rebellious side and i can't wait to have fun with her. the next person i'll prolly see is skeggers... my forever friend, my best camp friend forever. that girl can make me laugh, cry and smile all within 5 minutes. she was my first friend at camp and i can't wait to spend another summer with her. i also can't wait to see jesay sexay. she was secret friend at camp, but shes one of my greatest friends in real life. she made my birthday absolutely amazing. i couldn't have asked for a better birthday away from home ever. she makes me laugh and makes me smile. with the combination of jesay sexay and skeggers together, this will be one amazing summer! each of us are taking on a different role which will test us emotionally and physically but we'll rock the camp's sock. cas, jesay sexay, skeggers and sevens will be reunited once again!! summer 2006 will be even better than summer 2005. i can feel it!! i'm tearingup just thinking about going to camp. i can't wait to see everybody. i can't wait to see all the guests. hopefully they remember me :) Current Mood: giddy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 12th, 2005
8:11 pm	quiz Your EQ is 153 50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar. What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)? (Comment on this)
Monday, August 29th, 2005
1:33 pm	Filling in time: paint by numbers? 1.) Copy and paste this into your journal:<*font color="yourusername"><*b>yourusername <*/font> 2.) Eliminate the asterisks 2 1/2.) Replace "yourusername" with your user name. 3.) See what color you are :alysia_sevens (Comment on this)
12:05 am	life after camp... well... life after camp is going well... the adjustment hasn't been too bad... although every so often i will realise that i can't be bed buddies with skeggers anymore, i can't stay up til past curfew with andrea anymore, can't fight with brian all the time anymore and can't piss ourselves laughing about piss with milkintas anymore. i had some frustrating times this summer, time where i felt like the worst counsillor ever, that why had they hired me? if i can't even take the heat of someone picking my nose... but then there were times where i knew i was in the right place.. i knew i had spent the summer at shadow lake to made a difference in people's lives. like when joanne would yell happily whenever she saw me, or micheal wilson would call me cool for no reason. it all added up to the most amazing summer of my life. and i gotta thank all the staff for being amazing support for me. although i had some personal conflicts with some girls... i still managed to keep smiling through it all.. i still managed to bite my upper lip and carry on.. towards the goal ... i never lost sight of the goal of this summer, which is to give the guests the best damn summer they've ever had. i hope to go back next summer.. as health care... and i hope to see some returning staff! a special shout out goes to my official and honourary CPC members... you guys gave me a summer to remember. skeggs from the first day i met you, we were inseperable...i miss you soooo much. steele i miss your calmness. cass i miss your crazyness and how we can fight and still love each other. kathy i love your inner wild child and how you were amazing with your guests. andrea i love everything about you... you're my #1 ;) milkintas you were there for my low of the summer and my high of the summer... you were amazing to the guests and to me. (thxs) stef (see, i spelled it right) you were one of the best people that this world has to offer, i'm honoured to say i'm your friend. nikki, never drink after you'd been sick all week, that's all i gotta say! kathryn we should really have cheese under the oaktree one day, save me a spot. flora we shared some pretty awesome guests. you have a lot of patiences. vanessa i think you're nice... and i know nice is an overused word, but you encompase what nice is. jess, i didn't forget about you... but i saved the best for last. i think i've cried the most tears cause i miss u so much. u made my birthday special when i thought it was gonna suck. we laughed together, talked together... you were my rock and my punching bag at times... anyways i'd better go to bed... i love you all!!!!!!! keepsmilig alysia :) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
12:15 pm	Week in a nutshell... Well... this week has been both frustrating and tear-inducing. my week started off really frustrating as i wasn't in love with my guest. she was really testing my patience by wanting to play this wonderful snake game. this game includes a rubber snake. the point of the game is to throw the snake and try to knock over the coke bottle on the ground. When I say this girl breathes, eat, and sleeps playing snake, I am not exaggerating. She would ask to play before bed, at like 6:45am, while eating breakfast/lunch/supper in the dininghall and every minute of her day. but yesterday everything changed. there was a thunderstorm. she is afraid of thunderstorms. she asked me to cuddle with her like her mom does for me. it was really sweet.(although there was drool all over my shirt when she woke up). She didn't want me to go on days this morning. And last night she gave me a hug after i performed at the talent show. but anyways... everyone have a good day :) keepsmiling alysia :) p.s will talk about more special friends from camp next time !!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 6th, 2005
11:21 am	camp This summer has been the best summer of my life. I've met so many people and done so many new things. I took a job at Shadow Lake this summer not knowing how many people I would meet or how much fun I would have. I've done so many things this summer and definetely don't have any regrets. Some of the things I've done this summer like gone to toronto, montreal, canada's wonderland, stouffville, markham, uxbridge and so many other places. I've met some amazing people as well. I'd like to take the time to talk about them: andrea: you're my rock and one of my bestest friends here. you're my #1. you're my venting buddy and someone i know will tell my like it is. i'll miss our dates when i go home. i'll come visit you for sure. jen skeggers: you're my bed buddy, you're my snoring friend, my laughing buddy and by far the person i bonded with the fastest here at camp. ever since u saw me cry... friends at first sight... hahaha balysia and sajidifer. good time cass: you rock my socks... and i love you. as much as we hate each other or act like we hate each other... i think you're awesome. i couldn't ask for a better roomate... you're from timmins and area, cool by deffault but you're cool in real life too. you don't need the deffault claus. jen steele: your last name says it all. nothing seems to phase you like nothing phases steel. you're freakin' hilarious and i love how you seem to keep your cool in all situations. i will finish with: what's your mame? why is that your name? how do you spell that? is that a girl's name? hahhahaha brian: although you also rock my socks... u defintely rock my socks totally platonically. you're an awesome guy and all but totally not my type. we've had some goodtimes this summer. i've enjoyed hanging out with you. we must keep in touch. kathy: you're quiet type who will just let me talk, talk and talk... did i mention u let me talk. you're an amazing person. we have a lot in common.. including working the best jobs in the world... nurses rock!!!! anyways... i'd update some more tomorrow... i love everyone! keepsmiling :) (Comment on this)